On Teddy the Bear



My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening.



… Alice Roosevelt Longworth



Brazilian Proverb



Love is blind but marriage restores one’s vision.



The Hope that Faded



A woman telephoned her friend and asked how she was feeling. “Terrible,” was the reply. “My head’s splitting, my back and legs are killing me, the house is a mess, and the children are driving me crazy.” “Listen,” said the caller, “go and lie down. I’ll come over right away and cook lunch for you, clean the house, and take care of the children while you get some rest. By the way, how is Sam?” “Sam?” the complaining housewife asked. “Yes, your husband.” “My husband isn’t named Sam.” “My heavens,” gasped the first woman, “I must have dialed the wrong number.” There was a long pause. “Then you’re not coming over?”



An Undertaker’s Advertisement



Why pay more for your funeral when

We’ve put away far better men,

Coffin and all, for twelve pounds and ten?



And this about your friends? Their pride?

Because the coffin’s only dyed

To look like maple? You inside



May rest secure—our guarantee—

That no man ever made so free

As to scratch a coffin’s lid to see!



… Ernest G. Moll



What’s in a Name?



Madghashian: Armenian in derivation, identified as a descriptive term, madghash is defined as new grown, fresh, young.


On Teddy the Bear   My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening.   … Alice Roosevelt Longworth   Brazilian Proverb   Love is blind but marriage restores one’s vision.   The Hope that Faded   A woman telephoned her friend and asked how she was feeling. “Terrible,” was the reply. “My head’s splitting, my back and legs are killing me, the house is a mess, and the children are driving me crazy.” “Listen,” said the caller, “go and lie down. I’ll come over right away and cook lunch for you, clean the house, and take care of the children while you get some rest. By the way, how is Sam?” “Sam?” the complaining housewife asked. “Yes, your husband.” “My husband isn’t named Sam.” “My heavens,” gasped the first woman, “I must have dialed the wrong number.” There was a long pause. “Then you’re not coming over?”   An Undertaker’s Advertisement   Why pay more for your funeral when We’ve put away far better men, Coffin and all, for twelve pounds and ten?   And this about your friends? Their pride? Because the coffin’s only dyed [...]
On Teddy the Bear   My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening.   … Alice Roosevelt Longworth   Brazilian Proverb   Love is blind but marriage restores one’s vision.   The Hope that Faded   A woman telephoned her friend and asked how she was feeling. “Terrible,” was the reply. “My head’s splitting, my back and legs are killing me, the house is a mess, and the children are driving me crazy.” “Listen,” said the caller, “go and lie down. I’ll come over right away and cook lunch for you, clean the house, and take care of the children while you get some rest. By the way, how is Sam?” “Sam?” the complaining housewife asked. “Yes, your husband.” “My husband isn’t named Sam.” “My heavens,” gasped the first woman, “I must have dialed the wrong number.” There was a long pause. “Then you’re not coming over?”   An Undertaker’s Advertisement   Why pay more for your funeral when We’ve put away far better men, Coffin and all, for twelve pounds and ten?   And this about your friends? Their pride? Because the coffin’s only dyed [...]
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